Doctors appointment today went well. She's not concerned about the weight I've gained this month even though it's triple what it should be! My blood pressure is normal, which is good, but the high weight gain and normal blood pressure was "normal" for Sophie too. As long as there's nothing wrong I'm learning that this is maybe how I am when pregnant.
She still hasn't received my records from UofU regarding my incision, but her opinion is that since my c-section was done before 30 weeks she would highly recommend another c-section. She's usually one who leans toward VBAC's with normal c-sections so I trust that she's saying that from experience. She says when it's done before 30 weeks the uterus isn't mature enough for a regular incision so they almost always have to do vertical (the dangerous one). She says a lot of times the surgeons try to get the scar in the right spot, even are sure that they have, and then it turns out they find out during delivery that they didn't and the risk isn't worth it. I asked about since I was so swollen, would that have made it more likely that the scar would be in the wrong place or if they could have gotten it right, she says since I had so much fluid there's a really good chance that the scar is in the right spot since my uterus had a chance to grow to a normal size, but because of how high risk Sophie was they could have still done the vertical incision to be safe. AAARRGGG!!!! This decision is hard! Now I have to think about what my decision will be, regardless of what the records say. I feel like even if the records say that I didn't have a vertical incision, there's a slight chance it could be wrong, but I'd like to try VBAC. I know in most cases it's better for the baby and I'd like the experience of a "normal" birth. But am I being selfish by wanting to try VBAC when it's *possible* that the scar is in the wrong spot, risking rupture that could possibly kill me and the baby? But then if the records say there isn't a vertical incision am I being selfish by still choosing a c-section for that same "just in case" scenario? Is this making any sense? Basically if the records say the scar IS in the right spot, I should be ok to do a VBAC but what if it's wrong? If it says it's not safe then obviously there's no question, I'll do c-section. Maybe I should just choose c-section, then there's no question of there being an unforeseen emergency during delivery. Even a slight risk just isn't worth it to me. We're re-requesting those records, just to get rid of any "what-ifs".
I'm sure some of you are thinking "Why worry about this now, you still have 14 weeks?" I can only say that when you've had one surprise preemie baby you start preparing for things in advance because you never know. I read somewhere in all this research that I'm doing that a c-section can increase your chances of having a preemie baby, regardless if anything is wrong with the pregnancy. So I feel that the earlier I'm prepared with a birth plan, the better. If I go early, great then at least I have a plan, if I don't GREAT then I'll have had time to accept whatever birth plan I decide on. Both have their pro's and con's. The biggest reason I don't want to do c-section is that the recovery is SO brutal! I hated it! Like...HATED it!!! I'd rather give birth naturally in the car during a middle of a snowstorm than have to deal with that recovery again.
I know it sounds like I'm fretting over nothing, and to tell the truth it bugs me because I hate having to decide what movie I want to watch, much less how I'm going to give birth! But it's one of those "in the back of my mind" kind of concerns, I'm not stressing too much and I'm not thinking about it all the time, so no worries.
I have been stressing about the delivery part for a few weeks now. With this being our first I dont know what to really expect. I keep havng nightmares about going into labor and not getting any drugs and then getting rushed into a c-section and them not knowing so I feel all the pain. I have woken up many nights in a cold sweat just thinking about it. I kinda just wish October would get here so that we can get it over with. I think that I might sleep better after :) or maybe not! I am sure that what ever you decide on will be the best for you and your baby. Dont stress about it too much. You will make the right decision!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was pregnant with Sophie that's all I could think about too! Makes sense, people are always too willing to share their horror stories with you, or shove their opinions down your throat and all that does is stress you out! The one thing I learned going through what I did with her is that it doesn't truly matter, as long as they come out one way or another. ;0) I didn't have the luxury of hoping for a healthy baby that time, all I wanted was a living one so I wasn't going to be all hurt that a c-section was the way to go. After I posted this I got a comment from one of my friends that really helped. Something so freaking obvious that I'm ashamed that I didn't think of it myself, and that was "pray about it". I need to adopt the attitude I had with Sophie and just realize that however she gets here doesn't matter. Sure some ways are better and healthier than others, but it's really only between you and God and as long as baby gets here alive that'll be enough. If I were you and really nervous about not getting meds in time I would prepare in advance to go natural, do some research on pain relieving techniques, that way if for some reason you can't get them you won't panic, and if you do then great! I've been getting most of my research from this website www.lamaze.org . It has amazing info about everything, pros and cons of everything "delivery" and though it leans more toward going natural it just gives facts. Congrats on your little one on the way, hope everything goes smoothly for you!
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