Sophie's doctor appt (and mine)

First I had to add these cute pics of Sophie eating bacon. She LOVES bacon. 

Okay so now for an update about the fun holiday we had taking Sophie to the hospital. So hopefully you read all about that in an earlier post. She seemed really lethargic on Thursday so I called in to her pediatrician for him to do a follow-up. The doctor in the ER didn't really check her for infection so I wanted Dr. Clarks opinion. He says that since she hasn't had a bloody diaper since then (uh, hello they gave her a suppository.....NOT fun for mommy. Messy messy diapers.) she doesn't have an infection. Dr. Spencer at the ER was concerned that there may be tearing higher up than he could see and that's why he wanted her to see a gastroenterologist (sp?) at Primary's next week, but Dr. Clark said that if that was the case then she would still be bleeding. As she isn't then I'm to go ahead and treat her for what she has until it goes away. Another concern I had is that this all happened after I switched her to whole milk. She's been spitting up for two weeks and her poop got so hard obviously that it was tearing up her poor bum. I'm not sure if it's the whole milk causing it or if her symptoms are only coincidental. Dr. Clark suggested that I switch her to Silk, which is great because that's what we drink (Almond Milk) but it has way less calories than whole milk and since that's mainly what she's eating right now until we can get her over textures I have to somehow find a way to get even more calories into her. There are plenty of ways to do that but for her since she can't eat much yet, it usually involves sugar and I'm trying to monitor how much she gets. I'd hate for her baby teeth to go rotten! We'll keep experimenting and figure this out. So far she's taking Silk very well and the only times she's thrown up the last couple days is if she gags on her food. Progress.

She also has an ear infection poor thing. So not only is she teething but she has fissures (cracks) on her bum, a pretty gnarly diaper rash and an ear infection. Couldn't tell by looking at her though, she's handling it very well.

I get the pleasure of soaking her bum in warm water 3-4 times a day to help her sores. That's ok though, she deserves as many nice warm baths as she can get.

You can tell she's not feeling well.

Still staying positive, bless her heart.

We didn't really get a good one of her smiling but she really did love riding this lion! Considering she prefers it to be rocking all her smiling pictures were blurry.

I bought this awesome rocking lion while I was still working at the bank, a long time before I even got pregnant. I hope I have this right but there was a company that sold cute baby things and I think they went delinquent on their loan or something? So the bank got everything and had to sell it themselves. I got this beauty for $26 (the other person bid $25). I just knew my future kids would love it.

***Disclosure: I'm going to be talking about my doctor appointment now and I'm not shy. Nothing I'm going to discuss is gross but it is personal so if that bothers you then don't read on. No hard feelings. :0)

A little background history on me, after I had Sophie I got on the depo shot (birth control where just one shot lasts 3 months, BIG mistake), I was in Salt Lake on my own for 3 months and I didn't like to be away from Sophie so I ate out every meal, every day. NOT good for my body but obviously my mind was on other things. Come September (3 months later) I decided not to get another depo shot. No reason, just didn't go in. I stopped breastfeeding Sophie after Christmas. I soon noticed that my nerves were always on edge and I felt dangerous. I just knew it had to be postpartum depression and I hated feeling so angry all the time. I was always getting so mad at dear Sophie when obviously she wasn't doing anything wrong. It wasn't logical of course, just emotion. I'm just so grateful that I'm willing to admit that something was wrong instead of just letting it get out of hand, or assuming I could take care of it on my own. It's a helpless feeling but you shouldn't let pride stop you from talking to someone about it. I know a lot of women believe that depression in general is something hush hush, don't talk about it because it'll make you look bad, or weak, when really most often it's just a hormonal imbalance. Something you can't control. That was the case with me. When I stopped breastfeeding Sophie my progesterone levels plummeted very quickly. I take a very low dose of progesterone and that seems to do the trick. It keeps my craziness in check but doesn't mellow you out like happy pills do, so I'm still myself. The same time I started progesterone though I also did the depo shot again. I didn't realize at the time that the depo shot was preventing me from losing weight, so that's 6 months of not being able to do anything about my weight. Very frustrating. The depo shot ran out in the middle of May and I noticed immediately that my attitude changed. I waited a bit and kept taking the progesterone and I seemed to go back to normal. In all this time, and even now, I've only had one "period" since I stopped breastfeeding. If you can even call it a period. No cramping and it lasted 12 days. I thought maybe it was normal, first time I've had a baby after all and I hadn't had a period in over a year so..... I thought it was me starting all over again. Well it's been 3 months and nothing yet. I really don't mind not having one, but I was starting to get concerned that something was wrong. Either that or it's all the progesterone I'm taking. Went in to see my doctor and that's what she thinks it is. She says that some women are sensitive to the depo shot and even if they don't continue it, it can stay in their system for months and for some, even up to a year. The depo shot releases a continuous 150ml of progesterone and I take anywhere from 50-150ml extra every night. That's 200-300ml of progesterone. Wow. For the birth control aspect, that's great, but the weight loss aspect not so much. It's also not so wonderful because it could make it harder for us to get pregnant if and when we decide we want a second. Not even just because of the depo shot lingering, (we don't even want to try again until Sophie is 2 so the depo will for sure be out of me by then) but Dr. Flansburg said that the progesterone that I'm on for my happiness may also take some time to get out of my system. Good to know, so if in 6 months we randomly decide to start trying again it may take a long time to happen, or it may happen right away. It's really not a bummer or anything, I was kind of bummed at first because it sucks to have to plan and then possibly have to wait, but I'm not going to complain until the time comes. Who knows, we may be lucky enough to not get pregnant until we want to and then get pregnant right away. Until then maybe I'll try to wean my self off the progesterone a few months before we actually want to get pregnant. But even weaning will take a couple months. Reading back through this I can't see why I was sad when she told me this, I think it's because I'm almost 27, I'll be almost 28 before I'm pregnant again and almost 29 when I have my second. Then wait a couple years before our 3rd and I'll be almost 33. Obviously not a big deal, I was just kind of hoping to be done by then, so maybe we'll just stop at 3. Maybe I'll change my mind and not be so self conscious about age. Wow I feel like I'm being shallow! Lol.

A bit of fantastic news though, I asked Dr. Flansburg if I would be treated as a high risk pregnancy because of my last one, and she said most likely. I asked if I would have to have a c-section even though the reason for my c-section was because of Sophie and not me, and she said no I can pretty much choose how I want to deliver next. I said, well yeah but the insurance won't cover c-sections if it's not medically necessary right? She says that actually they will regardless of the why because my first one was medically necessary. So decisions decisions. Good thing I have time to think about the pros and cons before I need to decide. If anyone has any opinions on the matter I would love to hear them. :0)