New pic of the little niblet.

We got another ultrasound at our appointment last week. I love being "High Risk"! The first one was at 9 weeks and my bladder was empty so the pictures didn't turn out very clear, so I just asked for another one and my doctor complied! With Sophie I only got the one ultrasound when we found out she was a girl. 

This kiddo does NOT hold still! He/she was flapping those arms like crazy, like a little bird. Pretty excited for when I finally get to feel it. I didn't get to feel Sophie for very long, you know, with her being swollen to triple her size and all.

We talked to billing and found out that with our new insurance plan this year we'll barely have to pay anything to have this baby. We don't have to pay anything for the doctors appointments, only have to pay $20 per ultrasound, and no deductible. With what Aflac will be giving us we'll be making money to have a baby.....again. Aflac for sure was NOT a mistake. We decided to go with this insurance plan this year after having to pay out the nose for Sophie's oxygen last year. Then of course she gets off oxygen right away....figures. So we decided to take advantage of the no deductible and have a baby! Jk We were planning on trying again once I reached my pre-prego weight anyway, so perfect timing.

I recently enrolled in Intermountain Healthcare's "My Health", which is really cool, you can look up your lab results, prescriptions, notes, ask questions, schedule appointments etc. While searching through my history I found this little gem.

This letter, if you can enlarge it, is from the doctor at DRMC to the receiving doctor at UofU Hospital explaining Sophie's and my condition after my water broke on 6/7/11. It's actually quite an interesting read, he goes over his "frank" conversation with us about the chance of Sophie's survival (or lack of). It was so surreal to be reading about this conversation. I remember my mom breaking down, Coden breaking down, and me just sitting there thinking "but she's fine, you're wrong". I put that conversation out of my mind because to me it was irrelevant. I received a blessing from two elders in our ward saying that her organs would be whole, and she would be fine. I believe that blessings are given through inspiration by God and obviously He knows more than doctors. I am so glad to be LDS because that blessing and others I was given were really what got me through 2 weeks of doomsday doctors sharing their "professional" opinions. 

Not to be totally random after all the seriousness but Sophie likes spaghetti! She doesn't just lick it, or pretend to eat it like she used to, nope, this big girl is actually eating everything we put in front of her! This picture is showing her second  big serving of yummy noodles. So dang proud of this girl. She finally figured out how to move her tongue around to get food from the middle of her mouth to the side so she can chew it, HUGE deal. Now that she has that down she doesn't choke or gag on anything anymore! Except when she puts too much food in her mouth, which she does all the time to test her limits. She's just so excited to be eating. Had to cancel our OT services, which was bittersweet because I love her therapist Johanna, such a sweet girl. But perfect timing because she just had her baby like last week so she would have been on maternity leave anyway. It would have been.......frustrating, to say the least, to have to work with someone new after working with Johanna for a year. One down, two to go. Now she only has Physical Therapy and Speech Therapy to master before baby comes. I'd settle for walking, I don't care much if she's talking. Her conversational babble is absolutely precious.

So a year ago Coden hurt his back, he's done some treatments that haven't worked and two weeks ago it got so bad that he could barely move without screaming. So scary to hear your big, strong hubby screaming in pain. :0(  He went to InstaCare, they prescribed him some pain killers, said he should probably get an MRI and sent him on his way. I made him go to the chiropractor hoping they could do something for him, they couldn't do much and in fact Coden was shaking with random chills on our way home. The guy did, however, second the opinion that Coden should get an MRI. Last week Coden had the MRI and they found that he has several bulging discs and degenerative discs or tissue or something like that. Not good. He has to see a special physical therapist to get steroid shots and begin physical therapy to avoid surgery. Get this though, they can't see him until the end of July. So it's like "hey you're back is way messed up, you're going to need surgery unless we help you, but you're going to have to wait two months." Um....ok. We're going to look into seeing if there is anyone in Salt Lake that could at least do the steroid shots.

 Coden at the chiropractor.

 Sophie entertaining herself at the chiropractor.

Coden enjoying being an invalid in front of the tv.

We had a couple guys from the ward come and move the recliner from Sophie's room to the living room so my Love could be comfy downstairs. When he was really hurting he couldn't sit up straight and laying down was hard because it took a lot of effort to get back up. He still has to sleep on it sometimes when his back starts acting up so we'll be keeping it down here for a while. I was wanting it out of Sophie's room anyway, it's so big and bulky and I have plans for all that extra space! I'm going to need to find someone who's way good at sewing though because the project I have in mind isn't exactly a beginner project, which is about all I can handle. 

This is what I want in Sophie's room. It won't be as big, and the shelf part seems easy but I need to find someone else to make the cushions.

It's late and I'm really tired so I'm off to bed. Tonight was actually a great time to update the blog since Coden was watching a really dumb Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick (a new one, dude, you're 65 and wrinkle-faced, stop acting like you're such a bad-a) so I had no trouble concentrating long enough to do this. I just found a bunch of pics of our bike rides, our trip to the zoo and other fun stuff so I'll work on that soon. Thanks for reading!

Progress

Sophie's oral therapist, Johanna, came out today. I was so excited to tell her that Sophie has been eating table foods for 2 weeks and we haven't had to give her purées in all that time! She still has issues moving her tongue from side to side so mostly she just mushes food with her tongue and swallows. She chews a little bit, if food happens to go over to the side on its own, if its a big enough bite, but not all the time.

Side note:  As we were talking about her lateral tongue movement it finally clicked why Sophie was never a good at breast feeding! Johanna mentioned that she was surprised I breast fed for as long as I did because she could only imagine the kind of trouble Sophie had with it. I pumped for 4 months and breast fed for 2 months. Doesn't seem that long to me but considering she always took *at least* an hour and a half to eat and it was so messy, I constantly had to have towels covering me so she wouldn't get my clothes milky, I see her point. It was so frustrating anyway, then I would go to church and I would meet mothers with their little babies in the mothers lounge and their tiny babies were done in 10 maybe 20 minutes. All of them! I kept wondering if I was doing something wrong. She seemed to latch ok, at least it didn't hurt, but milk was constantly getting everywhere but in her mouth. Anyway, it all makes sense now.. Maybe this next one won't have that problem. Maybe I can finally see what other mothers are raving about, since I hated it so much. I liked the snugly bonding time but that was it. I couldn't go anywhere, do anything and its hard to look forward to a long milk bath when you have to start all over again an hour and a half later. And not to sound completely shallow but one of the biggest things that got me hesitating when I finally decided it was time for formula (besides feeling like other mothers would view me as a complete failure, this mother making her previously sick preemie baby go on formula) was that I'd miss my humongous boobs. Honestly with my experience with breast feeding, can you blame me? The only thing I really liked about it were my big boobs, so yes I was sad to see them go, and relieved at how easy formula was. Anyway enough of my big dark secrets.

I'm so proud of Sophie and how well she's been eating. She eats muffins, bananas, sandwiches, chicken nuggets, French fries, strawberries and since yesterday, Mac n' Cheese. She likes to shove HUGE bites in her mouth and as Johanna says "test her limits". A lot of times she'll throw up in her mouth a little and swallow the big bite down. Disgusting and I'm sorry for the details but I'm very open so....get used to it. It seems to make the big bite easier to go down. That's usually when she doesn't chew her food so we're working on that. 

We bought a couple of bikes recently and thanks to Coden's dad we have a bike trailer for Sophie, so we've been going on a lot of bike rides lately. I mainly view it as a fantastic way to work out my legs and slim them down without putting too much pressure on my shins and knees, especially as I get bigger. I gained too much weight the first trimester, thanks to feeling incredibly nauseous and practically living on the couch, and my craving for salt and other crappy foods. They were the only things that made my stomach feel slightly better so I gave in. Since my last appointment though I'm on this "magic pill" that knocks me out all night and makes me feel better the next day. I still get nauseous mid-afternoons and nights but its way more manageable than it was. I still mainly crave bad foods but I'm trying to sneak in a salad here and there. A good compromise and a favorite of mine right now, Cafe Rio salads. Just  the right combination of the "bad" that I crave and lettuce that I need. I've also been craving sugar so I'm trying to fill that craving with fruit instead of lindor truffles. I've been wanting pretty much whatever is not in the house. Good thing Coden makes a lot of money with Primerica because that's been paying for us to eat out. Whats funny is that I was thinking about how before I got pregnant I promised myself I wouldn't give in so much to cravings....HA!! I was so naive. I was on Weight Watchers and seeing success and I thought that cravings were exaggerated. I was lucky with Sophie. I only craved fruits and vegetables and sometimes chocolate. None of this crispy chicken and French fries. I had no idea that food like that would actually make my rolling stomach feel better! I also had no idea how hungry I would be, all.the.time. Anywho back to the point, I'm trying to work on portion sizes now that I'm feeling better, and biking almost every day. 

These pics were taken as I was riding down a little road close to where I live. So beautiful. Gorgeous green fields in every direction, a tiny little stream right next to the road and butterflies flying around our heads. No joke. Perfectly serene and exactly what my emotional bi-polar pregnant self needs everyday.

A lesson in humility

Sophie has been going to gymnastics every Friday for a while now and we love it! She loves being around other kids her own age and for the most part just as behind as she is, and I love all the things she gets to do that have her working on skills I never would have thought she'd need.  She now recognizes and loves trampolines, she's getting better at walking across a balance beam (with help), and now has no problem crawling in tunnels. That used to terrify her. She hates the foam pit unless dad is with her, then she'll jump in willingly. They have a blast playing in there during free time whenever Coden can join us.

Over time, however, I've slowly been growing more and more frustrated with some of the parents. Not all, of course, most are wonderful but there are some here and there that drive me nuts. Some of the parents bring their older children with no disabilities with them and they usually play in areas where the toddlers aren't working, usually on the big trampolines and the foam pit. Totally fine, there's a woman who keeps them entertained and for the most part away from us so the babies can focus. Every so often though one or two will break away and come join the toddlers in the circuit because it looks like fun. They obviously have nothing holding them back and breeze right through it but in the mean time they're hovering over and rushing the toddlers. Their parents sometimes try to rein their kid(s) in, but a lot of times they're so focused on their toddler, the reason they're there, that they don't notice. A lot of other parents will just move their baby aside so the older kid can pass...I don't.  I think it's wrong. I'm not going to rush my baby who's come so far when she's working on something at her own pace. Some of the parents even try getting their toddlers to go faster if they notice a line forming behind them and that drives me nuts too! They are there for that toddler to gain confidence and skill, not to hurry and get through the circuit. Anyway I digress. The point of this ranting is to talk about what I experienced yesterday and what I learned from it.

Part of the circuit yesterday was crawling up a tube/slide and doing summersaults down the padding on the other side. Sophie, as I mentioned, usually has problems with tubes in general but yesterday was crawling up it like it was no big deal, so proud of her! The second time around, though one of the older siblings cut in line and crawled up with her but was right on top of her and practically crawling over her. It happens so often that I just touched him on the shoulder to hold him back a little and said "it's Sophie's turn ok? We're not going to rush her because she's doing her best, can you wait your turn?" Of course no answer. This boy could have only been 3 or 4 and I really wasn't expecting him to do anything. He just kept trying to crawl over her in that tiny space. I mainly say things like that nicely hoping that their parent is paying attention and can come grab them. This time no parent came. I'd never seen this boy there before so I had no idea who he belonged to. At the summersaults, something I obviously have to do for Sophie, he kept trying to roll over her. So frustrating! I kept my cool though and just kept taking him off her so Sophie could focus. It was big enough padding that he could've gone down the other side but never did. Another mother behind me kept looking at me sympathetically. This same boy had done this to her and her daughter at the bars but she just rushed her child through so he could get past. I'm sorry but I'm too stubborn for that. I want Sophie to get something from each lesson. All of this really only lasted a minute or two and he quickly got bored and moved on. Like I said, frustrating but really not a big deal, it happens all the time.

Later Sophie crawled over to the big trampolines, she got on the lower one and bounced for a bit but quickly wanted to join Aria, a little girl with leg braces, on the taller trampoline. They bounced around a bit and I got to know Aria's parents. It's usually the dad who brings Aria so I've never met the mom before. The dad usually just let's Aria run around instead of doing the circuits then leaves her to go jump on the trampoline into the foam pit, so not impressed. Aria seems amazing and so strong and can do things most other kids her age can't, so the fact that he leaves her so he could play just irked me. Aria's mother and I talked a little bit and I found out the boy is hers and he has autism. Now I understand why he didn't really respond when I talked to him. I immediately felt bad for judging his parents so harshly. Not like I had said anything rude, I don't regret anything I said or did, but I felt bad for judging the parents as negligent. They only have the two kids, Michael who has autism and Aria who has Williams Disease and something else with a LOOOOONG name, that apparently is extremely rare to have those two diseases together so Aria is really one of a kind. I had mentioned that I hope that Sophie will be walking before we have this next one and she asked if I was afraid being pregnant again, that the same thing would happen. She said that they would most likely never have another because its hard enough with the two kids she has now, and didn't think she'd be able to handle having another child with any sort of "needs". I felt terrible. I'm not worried at all that my baby won't be healthy because Sophie was a fluke. I had just judged this little family in my frustration. Maybe the dad doesn't make Aria do all the circuits because in that area she's fine. She's only two and physically can do what a two year old can. Her brain may be a little delayed but she's a strong girl. Maybe the dad plays so much while he's there because its the only chance he really gets to unwind. I don't know what their life is like outside that gym. I learned they were all together that day because Aria had an appointment afterwards. Maybe they didn't see Michael rushing the other kids because they were so focused on Aria.

I started counting my blessings again because Sophie's condition isn't long term. She had a traumatic
beginning and though the doctors thought she'd have brain damage that's the one area that's not delayed. In a year or two we expect she'll be caught up and altogether a normal, happy kid. I forget sometimes about the families that have to deal with sorrow for their kids entire lives. Who have to worry about their kids being teased and spiritually and physically tested in every way. Who can't be with them always because they have to work. I've been lucky that I could be at every doctors appt, every surgery, every therapy, every follow up because I'm a stay at home mom. I'm blessed that Coden makes enough at Verizon to pay for our comfortable way of living, and only has to work 40 hours a week to do it. I'm blessed that soon enough, next year most likely, he'll be able to quit his job and focus completely on the business we've been working on for years. He'll be home all day with his family and go on appointments at night with families when they get off work and teach them how to do the same thing. Working a fraction of the hours and still providing our dream life. We can have more children and not have to worry about them being unhealthy, for the most part. Sophie was a fluke but it was still a fluke that happened to us and I worry about other flukes, but my doctor says Coden and I were made for having healthy babies.  Our blood types together make for very healthy babies, she says. I consider that a bit ironic but at the same time it gives me confidence.

It's hard sometimes to not judge others, it's human nature. But I believe it's also human nature to have empathy, if we're not too stubborn to try.  I know because of the many things I've seen and experienced since I had Sophie that I'm going to try harder to see beyond frustration and ask myself what could be going on in their life, so I can understand better.

Well hello again!

Ok this time is going to be different, I promise. My last post was in November, 7 MONTHS ago!! I don't even know where to begin to play catch up!

I've never been good about writing in a journal, maybe that's why I'm so horrible at blogs but can at least keep Facebook updated. It's quick and easy while this takes thought and effort. But there are a lot of things I don't feel like sharing on Facebook (believe it or not for those who know how open I am) and I think I'll be ok sharing them on here. I'll still post the link to Facebook to get the word out but lesbehonest, only people who want to know about my life will care to click on the link. That's fine by me. So if you're reading this then you're freaking awesome!

The only thing I haven't mentioned on Facebook yet is that......drumroll please..... I'm pregnant!! I'm officially 3 months along and truly, I'm surprised I haven't let it slip on FB yet. I'm a notorious whiner and this pregnancy has been a doozy for me compared to Sophie (at this point)  and I've been tempted to say something just so I can hear all the other moms out there give their thoughts and advice.

This is little nubbin at 9 weeks. I thought I was 10 weeks but had to go back a week. It was really frustrating because this time I know the exact date of conception (and we got a positive pregnancy test 4 days later) but my "LMP" they always seem to ask about was 3 weeks before instead of the normal 2. So I've known for a LONG time it seems like.

Big sister just woke up from a 5 1/2 hour nap and when hubs gets home we're going to go on a bike ride down by the river so I better leave the "catch up" for another day.

Thanks for following!

Answers!!

        Wow it's been a long time since I've been on here! I'll have to look through my pictures and update later.
        Yesterday we took Sophie to Primary's for, we thought, an echocardiogram. What got this whole thing started was that we wanted to be able to take Sophie off oxygen during the day. She's had *decent* sats and she can't seem to keep it on anyway and it's annoying when it wraps around her body while she's crawling around. We were concerned that if we took her off oxygen her heart and lungs would be working harder. She has pulmonary hypertension and we wanted to make sure that her not being on oxygen when she's technically not at 100% saturation wouldn't hurt her. When we got down there it turns out an echocardiogram wasn't ordered but there were other ways to tell if she had pulmonary hypertension. After 4 hours, a couple scans and other tests and an AMAZING team from cardiology we actually got more answers than we went there for.
        We officially got it approved to have her off oxygen during the day as long as we monitor her coloring! I mean, we were already doing it but now we're guilt free. They also increased her oxygen at night to 1/2 liter, not because she needs it but because oxygen is apparently a good treatment for PH. We now only have to give her Sildenafil (Viagra for her PH) 3x daily vs every 6 hrs. MUCH easier. We found out that the sildenafil is causing her reflux so whenever we take her off the one she'll be off the other.
        For a long time we've been told that Sophie was diagnosed with chronic lung disease but no one could explain why or what exactly it was. Then we were told that her lungs are technically fine. Which is really frustrating. More frustrating because if it's not something serious, the fact that they have her labeled that way means it's harder for her to get insurance coverage. Health and life. Luckily we know enough about the life ins. part of it so we covered her with 25k so that when she's an adult *if* she can't get approved she'll have 5x the face amount so at least she'll have 125k on her. That's at least something for her future family, we try to plan ahead. I'm glad we did but we were told yesterday that if you require oxygen for at least 4 weeks they label you with that so *hopefully* they'll take it off her records when she gets older.
        They took a look at her heart and saw that the right side is a little bigger than normal because it's been working really hard. Also, remember that surgery on her diaphragm 2 weeks after she was born? Her left diaphragm was paralyzed so they went in and tacked it down so it wouldn't float up every time she took a breath and allow her lung to expand. It was supposed to fix itself on its own. Well we saw yesterday that the front is still tacked down but the back side of her left diaphragm floats up a little when she breathes so her left lung can't expand fully. They talked to Dr. Barnhart (Superman) to see if he thinks it'll help to do another surgery. It's possible that if he tacks the back side down and her lung can expand fully then she may not require oxygen much longer. So when people ask why she's still on oxygen we FINALLY have an answer! But now with us using oxygen as a PH treatment at night at a certain liter flow we won't know when she's technically done with it until the PH is gone. Nothing but circles with this girl! Oh and they're still not sure why her hands and feet turn purple randomly but they're looking into it. Did I miss anything?!....

Sophie's doctor appt (and mine)

First I had to add these cute pics of Sophie eating bacon. She LOVES bacon. 

Okay so now for an update about the fun holiday we had taking Sophie to the hospital. So hopefully you read all about that in an earlier post. She seemed really lethargic on Thursday so I called in to her pediatrician for him to do a follow-up. The doctor in the ER didn't really check her for infection so I wanted Dr. Clarks opinion. He says that since she hasn't had a bloody diaper since then (uh, hello they gave her a suppository.....NOT fun for mommy. Messy messy diapers.) she doesn't have an infection. Dr. Spencer at the ER was concerned that there may be tearing higher up than he could see and that's why he wanted her to see a gastroenterologist (sp?) at Primary's next week, but Dr. Clark said that if that was the case then she would still be bleeding. As she isn't then I'm to go ahead and treat her for what she has until it goes away. Another concern I had is that this all happened after I switched her to whole milk. She's been spitting up for two weeks and her poop got so hard obviously that it was tearing up her poor bum. I'm not sure if it's the whole milk causing it or if her symptoms are only coincidental. Dr. Clark suggested that I switch her to Silk, which is great because that's what we drink (Almond Milk) but it has way less calories than whole milk and since that's mainly what she's eating right now until we can get her over textures I have to somehow find a way to get even more calories into her. There are plenty of ways to do that but for her since she can't eat much yet, it usually involves sugar and I'm trying to monitor how much she gets. I'd hate for her baby teeth to go rotten! We'll keep experimenting and figure this out. So far she's taking Silk very well and the only times she's thrown up the last couple days is if she gags on her food. Progress.

She also has an ear infection poor thing. So not only is she teething but she has fissures (cracks) on her bum, a pretty gnarly diaper rash and an ear infection. Couldn't tell by looking at her though, she's handling it very well.

I get the pleasure of soaking her bum in warm water 3-4 times a day to help her sores. That's ok though, she deserves as many nice warm baths as she can get.

You can tell she's not feeling well.

Still staying positive, bless her heart.

We didn't really get a good one of her smiling but she really did love riding this lion! Considering she prefers it to be rocking all her smiling pictures were blurry.

I bought this awesome rocking lion while I was still working at the bank, a long time before I even got pregnant. I hope I have this right but there was a company that sold cute baby things and I think they went delinquent on their loan or something? So the bank got everything and had to sell it themselves. I got this beauty for $26 (the other person bid $25). I just knew my future kids would love it.

***Disclosure: I'm going to be talking about my doctor appointment now and I'm not shy. Nothing I'm going to discuss is gross but it is personal so if that bothers you then don't read on. No hard feelings. :0)

A little background history on me, after I had Sophie I got on the depo shot (birth control where just one shot lasts 3 months, BIG mistake), I was in Salt Lake on my own for 3 months and I didn't like to be away from Sophie so I ate out every meal, every day. NOT good for my body but obviously my mind was on other things. Come September (3 months later) I decided not to get another depo shot. No reason, just didn't go in. I stopped breastfeeding Sophie after Christmas. I soon noticed that my nerves were always on edge and I felt dangerous. I just knew it had to be postpartum depression and I hated feeling so angry all the time. I was always getting so mad at dear Sophie when obviously she wasn't doing anything wrong. It wasn't logical of course, just emotion. I'm just so grateful that I'm willing to admit that something was wrong instead of just letting it get out of hand, or assuming I could take care of it on my own. It's a helpless feeling but you shouldn't let pride stop you from talking to someone about it. I know a lot of women believe that depression in general is something hush hush, don't talk about it because it'll make you look bad, or weak, when really most often it's just a hormonal imbalance. Something you can't control. That was the case with me. When I stopped breastfeeding Sophie my progesterone levels plummeted very quickly. I take a very low dose of progesterone and that seems to do the trick. It keeps my craziness in check but doesn't mellow you out like happy pills do, so I'm still myself. The same time I started progesterone though I also did the depo shot again. I didn't realize at the time that the depo shot was preventing me from losing weight, so that's 6 months of not being able to do anything about my weight. Very frustrating. The depo shot ran out in the middle of May and I noticed immediately that my attitude changed. I waited a bit and kept taking the progesterone and I seemed to go back to normal. In all this time, and even now, I've only had one "period" since I stopped breastfeeding. If you can even call it a period. No cramping and it lasted 12 days. I thought maybe it was normal, first time I've had a baby after all and I hadn't had a period in over a year so..... I thought it was me starting all over again. Well it's been 3 months and nothing yet. I really don't mind not having one, but I was starting to get concerned that something was wrong. Either that or it's all the progesterone I'm taking. Went in to see my doctor and that's what she thinks it is. She says that some women are sensitive to the depo shot and even if they don't continue it, it can stay in their system for months and for some, even up to a year. The depo shot releases a continuous 150ml of progesterone and I take anywhere from 50-150ml extra every night. That's 200-300ml of progesterone. Wow. For the birth control aspect, that's great, but the weight loss aspect not so much. It's also not so wonderful because it could make it harder for us to get pregnant if and when we decide we want a second. Not even just because of the depo shot lingering, (we don't even want to try again until Sophie is 2 so the depo will for sure be out of me by then) but Dr. Flansburg said that the progesterone that I'm on for my happiness may also take some time to get out of my system. Good to know, so if in 6 months we randomly decide to start trying again it may take a long time to happen, or it may happen right away. It's really not a bummer or anything, I was kind of bummed at first because it sucks to have to plan and then possibly have to wait, but I'm not going to complain until the time comes. Who knows, we may be lucky enough to not get pregnant until we want to and then get pregnant right away. Until then maybe I'll try to wean my self off the progesterone a few months before we actually want to get pregnant. But even weaning will take a couple months. Reading back through this I can't see why I was sad when she told me this, I think it's because I'm almost 27, I'll be almost 28 before I'm pregnant again and almost 29 when I have my second. Then wait a couple years before our 3rd and I'll be almost 33. Obviously not a big deal, I was just kind of hoping to be done by then, so maybe we'll just stop at 3. Maybe I'll change my mind and not be so self conscious about age. Wow I feel like I'm being shallow! Lol.

A bit of fantastic news though, I asked Dr. Flansburg if I would be treated as a high risk pregnancy because of my last one, and she said most likely. I asked if I would have to have a c-section even though the reason for my c-section was because of Sophie and not me, and she said no I can pretty much choose how I want to deliver next. I said, well yeah but the insurance won't cover c-sections if it's not medically necessary right? She says that actually they will regardless of the why because my first one was medically necessary. So decisions decisions. Good thing I have time to think about the pros and cons before I need to decide. If anyone has any opinions on the matter I would love to hear them. :0)

Sophie's official 1 year pics

I've been wanting to take pictures for her one year in the shirt I made her with all the decorations from her party, that I also made for her. ;0) I'm not bragging.....maybe I am, who cares. Anywho, Coden took the pics, I edited. I tried to pick my favorite few to put on here but I really couldn't! Each face she makes is so unique to me that it felt wrong to leave out any of them.